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Bereavement Counselling

9 Minutes

Edited & medically reviewed by THE BALANCE Team

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CONTENTS

Nothing can be more distressing in life than the loss of a close family member or friend. Bereavement relates to the period of time after losing people one holds close to heart and describes how they adjust to the drastic amount of change that usually follows their death.

While it’s common to grieve after other types of losses, such as retirement, ending a relationship, or losing health, the intense range of emotions experienced after losing a dear one profoundly affects one. If you are struggling to come to terms with a recent loss of a loved one and feel like it is affecting your abilities to function on a daily basis, getting grief counselling is highly recommended.

Bereavement refers to the experience of losing a loved one. It is characterised by sheer sadness and grief, a phenomenon in which you experience a broad range of emotions as you adjust yourself to the loss.

Losing an essential member of your life can emotionally devastate anyone: be it a family member, pet, friend, or spouse. It is natural to experience various physical and emotional processes as the mind struggles to deal with this loss. Yet, for some people, the emotional burden associated with the loss can be too heavy to bear and may hinder them from moving on in life.

It is important to remember that while grief is mostly associated with the death of a dear one, other circumstances may also trigger it. These may include the following:

the end of a relationship
the loss of a job
moving away to a new location
a decline in the physical or mental health of someone we care about

Talking about a loss in life often allows a person to move on and adjust to their new life with its changes, either good or bad. Keeping things inside and denying the sadness is only prolonging the pain. Any loss needs to be acknowledged in order to move forward. Most people may require professional bereavement counselling to succeed.

Bereavement counselling has been designed to help people move quickly through the stages of grief while learning how to cope with the loss. The counselling aims to support you in reaching a point where you can function normally, no matter how long it takes. While it is impossible to stop missing the person you have lost, the right support and enough time dedicated to bereavement counselling can help you piece together a new life and reclaim your purpose.

Counselling for bereavement and grief offered in the UK specifically offers the following benefits:

Resolution of areas of conflict that still remain
Exploration of areas that are potentially preventing you from moving on
Support for understanding the mourning process
Support to help you adjust to a new sense of self
Addressing possible issues of depression or suicidal thoughts related to the bereavement

Undertaking a session of grief counselling UK can help you explore your emotions in a better way. During the initial session, the therapist working with you may inquire more about the loss, the feelings you have developed since the loss and your connection with the person that passed away. These questions may seem painful to answer, and you may also experience some emotional outbursts during the session. However, these questions play an important role in bringing up your emotions connected to your loss, and the therapist will be present throughout to tackle all emotional outbursts with reason. The therapist can also encourage you to think more creatively about the challenges you are facing associated with loss and propose suggestions to overcome them easily.

The number of sessions you may require will be discussed with the therapist before the commencement or during the first session of counselling. Remember that attending counselling does not mean you are accepting defeat or depicting a weakness. In fact, this therapy can provide you with enough strength and equip you with the tools needed to cope with the difficulties of grief.

Many private organisations and independently working therapists offer various types of services to people who have lost their loved ones for a long time. The care plan for such people involves evidence-based therapies combined with counselling to address the feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress associated with the loss. Factors such as the age of the person you lost and their nature can dictate the type as well as the length of the treatment and support you may require to overcome the loss.

Most of the privately working centres offer a wide range of outpatient services and more structured approaches that may also involve inpatient stays. The complex and unique nature of the bereavement process for each client is well-recognised and understood by the specialists, and tailored treatments are provided in accordance with your emotional requirements and the level of comfortability.

In addition to the regular bereavement counselling sessions, one or more of the following therapies are often tagged along for better outcomes:

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)– to help you manage behaviours and thoughts related to the loss and develop the ability to comfortably talk about the departed person without experiencing an emotional outburst.
Mindfulness– to minimise the prevalence of negative thoughts and prevent the development of any severe mental disorders as a result of prolonged grief. It also promotes acceptance of what has happened and motivates you to live a new life.

Group therapy– to share anecdotes and gain valuable insights among p

FAQs

What does grief feel like?

Grief can be highly stressful and challenging to deal with, despite everybody going through it at some point in life. The way one chooses to respond to this bereavement also varies from one person to another. After losing a dear one, you may experience any one of the following:

Sadness/Depression
Feelings of depression and sadness may be brought on as you realise the loss and may force you to isolate yourself and recall everything you did with your loved one.
Shock/Numbness:
It is a natural mechanism of our brain to protect us from pain. Hence, following a bereavement, some people may feel numb about what has happened to them. These feelings of numbness and shock often provide emotional protection to avoid becoming overwhelmed, especially during the initial stages of grief.
Disbelief/Denial:
A typical response to a recent loss is denial, characterised by refusing to admit that your loved one has left you. This can be extremely difficult to get over and often requires grief and loss counselling to restart living life.

How long does it take to grieve?

There is no specific or standard time frame for grief to occur or to seek therapy for bereavement. You could take months or years to get over your loss or may adjust back to your life within days following a recent death. There is no timeline, and it does not matter how long you take unless the feelings related to the loss start affecting your daily life.

Do I need grief counselling?

Grief is a natural response to losing someone close to you. Each person experiences it in a different way, and it may affect you in multiple ways at different times. You may require assistance if your emotions are too intense to let go or interfere with your day-to-day life. If you are struggling to go to work or take care of your children because your mind is still stuck on the loss of a loved one, it is important to seek help from a bereavement counsellor.

Who will benefit the most from bereavement counselling and therapy?

You can potentially benefit from bereavement counselling if:
You are struggling to process the death of a loved one for over a year without success
The demise of your loved one has significantly altered your daily activities of life
You lack support and do not have anyone to talk to about your feelings
You wish to explore your thoughts and have a desire to learn coping strategies
You are willing to move on with life but also have guilty feelings at the same time
You have experienced trauma related to the recent bereavement

How can I tell if grief has converted into depression?

Contrary to depression, grief is not a mental illness. Just like anger, sorrow, emptiness, and confusion, it is merely a natural reaction to a death. However, when these feelings persist for a long time, it is worth seeking grief and bereavement counselling. Grief and depression have many symptoms in common, such as insomnia, sadness, and altered eating habits. Yet, one main difference that draws the line between the two conditions is that grief often comes in waves, whereas depression hangs over everything like a cloud. In simpler words, a grieving person can forget their sadness for a particular time, for example, while surrounded by people they love. Depression, on the other hand, is pervasive and constant.

HOW THE BALANCE CAN HELP WITH Grief

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